"I have had clarity before about many things."

The Mantra©, which is from our book Motherhood - Is It For Me? Your Step-by-Step Guide to Clarity, is a series of validating statements that you can repeat to yourself when you're anxious about your motherhood indecision. Our hope is that The Mantra will help calm and center you while you're figuring things out.

I introduced The Mantra several weeks ago, and discussed the lines "I don't know why I don't know," and "It's not my fault that I don't know," in my last blog. 

Today, we'll look at the next two lines: "It's okay that I don't know," and "I have had clarity before about many things." Keep reading to discover how these two lines can bring you comfort. 

The Mantra

I don’t know.
I don’t know why I don’t know.
It’s not my fault that I don’t know.
It’s okay that I don’t know.
I have had clarity before about many things.
My true desire matters and no one can know it better than I.
I am the definer of me.
The answers will come because they never left.
Only I can know what’s true for me... It’s all within me.

(Excerpt from "Motherhood - Is It For Me? Your Step-by-Step Guide to Clarity" by Denise L. Carlini and Ann Davidman)

It’s okay that I don’t know.

This statement is meant to help you soften internally and experience more ease. We want you to feel spaciousness around not knowing.

Society at large wants you to know whether or not you’ll be a mom, but the reality is that you don’t know. Your internal life doesn’t match the expectations imposed by your external life. And that feels bad. Your self- judgment – the critical inner voice that insists you should know – can compound your discomfort.

The statement It’s okay that I don’t know helps you step back a bit. Give yourself permission to be exactly where you are, without self-judgment. When you relax into self-acceptance, the result is spaciousness. From there you can more easily gain access to the answers that are already there. Try to feel at peace. Be kind to yourself.

I have had clarity before about many things.

This reminds you of what is true: You have known and still know many things. You have felt clarity before. And as you’ve experienced it before, you’ll most certainly experience it again.

The knowing will come in time. You don’t have to look for it. As you complete the weekly “Be Curious” sections, you’ll find yourself immersed in an unfolding process that brings you information and ultimately personal clarity.

Make a list of three precise times in your life when you had complete clarity, and read it whenever you want to recapture that wonderful sensation of knowing. Trust that you will experience the same complete clarity regarding the question of motherhood.