Feel invisible on Mother's Day? I see you.

Dear Invisible Population,

I know you’re out there. I know you’re hiding, hoping that no one will find out that you don’t know if you want to be a mom or live a childfree life. I know you don’t want to experience shame one more time because you don’t know how to decide.

I know you’re out there. I want you to talk to someone about it. Tell someone that you trust that you don’t know what you want. Tell them that you want to share something with them that you feel bad about and you hope they’ll be able to respond with “It’s ok," or "It’s a personal decision and no one can tell you what’s right for you," or "Good for you for taking your time to figure out what’s best for you.”

I know you’re out there. I know you’re in pain. Please know that you’re not the only one in pain. I’ve heard so many of you tell me over the years how tortured you feel because you can’t make a decision one way or the other. You don’t know why you can’t decide; you feel there is something wrong with you. There’s nothing wrong with you. There are real reasons through no fault of your own that you’re struggling.

I know you’re out there. I know you probably thought you’d know by now. Sometimes it happens that what you want becomes clear and sometimes it doesn’t. If you’ve been waiting for more than a year or two for the answer to come, and it hasn’t, then I would say that’s too long. There’s something in the way that’s keeping you away from knowing your inner truth. Even though it may feel like a mystery to you, there is a detailed road map to get you to that truth.

I know you’re out there. I know you just want to wake up one day and know what to do. You can wake up one day and decide to get help. Please stop trying to think your way out of this dilemma. There’s concrete help for you.

I know you’re out there. And I want you to know that you matter to me. I've been helping women like you for more than 25 years. I can help you. The book Motherhood-Is It For Me? Your Step-by-Step Guide to Clarity that I co-authored with Denise L. Carlini is that road map you’re looking for.

I know you’re out there and I know you don’t want another Mother’s Day to go by where you feel invisible.

With deep respect,

Ann Davidman, Motherhood Clarity Mentor